Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Never joke about your clitoris.
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