I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
