I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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