u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize