i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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