My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
