Whod you bang
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
