you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
