I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
