You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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