I wanna passion pit in your ass
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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