My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
either way he was missing a nipple.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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