we're chasing vodka with high fives
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
