Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
