Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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