...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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