why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
