We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
