I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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