Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
