I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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