You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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