At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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