hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
