I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
