so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
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He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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