I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
