im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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