Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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