he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
