I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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