Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
