The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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