there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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