oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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