At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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