just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
