Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
