all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
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