so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
