Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
