Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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