we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
