For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I looked at my own cervix.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
