these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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