normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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