11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
