You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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