My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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