I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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