nut hugger
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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