A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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