We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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