Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
