Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have already put on my inside pants.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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