All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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