So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
