Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
