I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
