IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize