Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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