why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
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I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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