Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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