Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
